The City of (Crushed) Dreams.

–california dreaming, wait for it to sink in.–

Let’s just get into to it.

You wake up and suddenly you’re smack in the middle of almost a decade of pursuing this acting life. Somewhere in the back of your mind you know that you’ve accomplished things but in the grand scheme it feels like the turn out has been virtually nothing. Sure, you’re no longer “green”, as they say. You’ve been doing this for a long time. Just like Jenna Fischer’s book “​The Actor’s Life: A Survival Guide​“, you know all of the things one should learn over the course of a few years in Hollywood. Still, nothing is happening for you. And you’re not so naive that you think that things in this business just always happen at the speed of light. That’s not how it works (in most cases). But you could have given birth to and raised a third grader in the same amount of time you’ve been chasing after this dream. When will the big break happen? What is it going to take? 

You’re getting up more and more everyday not wanting to get out of bed, pay for a round trip uber, and travel all the way to a stuffy room with no air conditioning in Hollywood just to read a few lines that you do not connect with at all. Oh, and don’t forget the most important part: you’re going to get rejected. Most times it has absolutely nothing to do with you or your talents. It’s just that your skintone is one shade too dark or you’re too short to be paired up with the other actor or your voice is just not what they imagined by looking at your headshot. It’s getting up in the morning with that dream and knowing that by 4:30pm it will be crushed because of circumstances that you just have no control over. This is the deal.

It seems like a harsh way to look at things but this is the honest to God truth of a struggling actor. In order to feed your soul when the work is just not helping you end up needing any kind of creative outlet. One of the harder parts is trying to find something else that can feed your soul in the mean time:

  • Maybe start a blog! I did.
  • Write a play, a sketch, a short film.
  • Start your own podcast, join a theatre group.
  • Write a book.

Whatever it is make sure that it fulfills you in a way that you’re just not getting from the day to day rejection of being a struggling performer. I always hate when people give unwanted advice, but you know what? Hang in there like that kitten on the clothing line from the 90’s! You know the one.

–going numb in l.a, trying not to lose faith to another dark day. california dreaming.–




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